The sad truth is that at some point in your personal and/or professional life, you will encounter failure. Sometimes it comes when you lose a key client, or deal. Sometimes it’s when you let someone important in your life down. Sometimes the door closes behind you and you get that realization that you’re about to hear some bad news. It’s hard. I know all too well from experience. As a matter of fact, just yesterday I was faced with failure for yet another time in my life. I guess that it’s only appropriate that I discuss my feelings here, so that you can learn from someone else’s painful experiences.
Your first reaction will probably be sadness, or anger, or even fear. Your friends and family will tell you that this is a waste of time. And you know what? They’re right. You already know that, but it won’t change the way you feel inside. Deep down, you’ll know that it’s your fault. And if you’re any kind of professional, you’re going to ask yourself what you could have done better. What could you have done to avoid the situation? To be honest, if you’re still feeling emotional then it’s too early in the game to be asking such questions. The true first step in dealing with failure is to let your emotions out. Obviously you won’t want an audience for this part (or maybe you do; I am posting here afterall). Whatever you need to do, scream, cry, or even laugh… do it. Here’s step #2:
Distance yourself from yourself. Easier said than done right? I should know. Anyone that knows me will tell you, I’m one of those guys that wears his heart on his sleave. But the truth is, when you’re dealing with a failure of some kind, you need to look at the situation from the outside. Look at things from an objective point of view. This will help you avoid being emotional. We’re all human, and emotion runs high during times like this, but believe me when I tell you that it will cloud your judgement. When you’re dealing with failure, you have important decisions to make, and they need to be made with a clear head. With this objectivity in place, then and only then you need to ask the tough questions. What happened? Why did it happen? What could you have done about it? What can you do about it now? You can’t change the past, only the future, and it’s totally up to you. Which brings me to step #3:
Determine your attitude. When you are down, it’s easy to react and have a negative attitude; I’m kind of at this point myself right now to be completely honest with you. But let me say that again… it’s easy. When is the last time that you’ve seen or heard of a situation where the easy thing to do has been the right thing to do? It almost never happens. True professionals are never satisfied with the easy way. The difficult thing to do when you’re faced with failure is to maintain that positive attitude you had when things were actually going your way. Whatever you have to do to re-capture that attitude… do it. Remember, success is all about attitude. What helps me sometimes is just knowing that I have so many people in my life that care about me. I’m lucky in that regard. You probably are too, but may not know it yet. Talk to your family, and when all else fails, talk to me. I’m not going anywhere, you can reach me at edwardviator@evil-marketer.com. I assure you, I am a real person, and will do my best to help you through any situation you may encounter.
So what’s next? Step #4 is taking action. At this point, you’ll feel a little older, a little wiser. A person at emotional peace, armed with knowledge and a winning attitude can accomplish just about anything. Whatever you decide to do next, now is the time to do it. If you’re not at this point yet, then you need to go back and attempt steps 1-3 again (either that, or I don’t know what I’m talking about).
So there you have it. To summarize, here’s the Evil-Marketer method for dealing with failure:
- Let your emotions out.
- Distance yourself from yourself.
- Determine your attitude.
- Take action.
Not bad if I do say so myself, I just made this up right now. If anyone else has anything to add, you know what do (translation for those that don’t know what to do: post in the comments section below or email me).
